Ever since I began reading this, I've been having memories and flashbacks of my grandfather long ago tempering metal in his forge - making things - chisels and horseshoes. My grandfather was a blacksmith. His world was all anvils and hammers and fire, then plunging the hot metal deep into water and hearing the hiss and seeing the steam rising. His way of life in that town has long vanished. People had so little back then, but seemed to have so much. They worked their jobs. They seemed important and sure of themselves. They seemed, as you put it, 'tempered by fire'. This is a superb piece of writing.
Wow! i didn't know your grandfather was a blacksmith. thank you for sharing.. the values changed so much in a couple generations. craft, skill, honing and creating—to fast, immediate and low cost from big box companies. SO few value the process or even see the difference between something made by hand vs machined in 2 seconds. I could get into that forever. Thank you for a peak into your lineage and the kindness of your words about the writing.
hehe. I feel like i've been writing and rewriting this letter to myself over the last decade. each round reminding me. you'll get through the fires. Haven't forgotten about your reading. I moved yesterday. It was a long hard week... coming back to giggle at the perfect timing of me re-reading and finally responding to your thoughtful comment.
I just pulled Temperance the other day, and I can admit that I usually just tell myself “patience.” I loved this. You’ve expanded my view of the cards, and you’ve given me a new way to view this stage of my life. Thank you ☺️
I really want to get this one on youtube for the readers. every time it's pulled i'm like GUYS! its not just wait! hehhe. Thank you for taking the time to read and even more the consideration to comment. big hug.
all of us together. no one has it perfect. Each time i think, oh... i think i can ride this part the universe is like and what about this extra layer here? hotter? hotter? and then i cry. hahha. and then i laugh. all in this together.
Lovely. I have witnessed what you write about. This concept has persisted in my thoughts while I raise my boys. How does a parent foster tempering in children while also protecting them? Protection and security are fleeting, but having skills and abilities in the real world provide built in protection. I realized letting kids try and fail in hard tasks builds resilience over time. In the middle of trying to do my best parenting, I realized stepping aside and letting them pursue their passions is the only way to prepare them for "growing up". Realizing my passion wasn't hereditary helped out. My passion is growing my own food, and they have watched the process and participated throughout their young lives. They may never want to kill a chicken again, but they know how.
I really appreciate how so many people, yourself included, write in a way that speaks to me and opens my eyes to new ideas. What a gift. Thank you
I think of this so much for my kids too. In a world of helicopter parenting.. i tend to step back and allow my kids to learn, with a little guidance and safety boundaries. It's funny, all kids learn to walk at 1-2... they get up, they stumble, they try again, they plop down. and we go "good job, look at you, You got this, try again, there you go... oops, you'll get it" I think it's innate and natural to know how to learn something with persistance. Then we get into fear of all of the possible things..
when my boys learned to climb trees at 2-3 I started them on tiny little trees.. they learned to hold their weight, keep focused, trust their body and even fall (like 1 foot). I told them, if you are not thinking clearly, enraged or reactive, you will not climb a tree. show me that your energy is balanced or I will not allow you to get into a tree because you can absolutely fall and crack your head open. Little by little they upgraded to harder trees. Now they are in 3-4 story trees... They trust their bodies, I trust them. but it was a long road to make sure they knew the skills, had the strength and knew their energy and capacity.
i do think we have a right to protect and guide. but also give them a manageable place to fail. Burn yourself on a little candle flame, no harm, no foul... learn what heat feels like. ... sneak around with fireworks and blow off your hand? no way... I like that they learn cause effect, responsibility for their actions.
Most parents freak out when they see me allow my kids to do a lot. they scream "you'll fall" and actually put them in more danger by terrifying them. It's fascinating to watch. I think the social conditioning really puts people into a controlled and victimized, scared, gonna get in trouble, can't fail kind of mindset. But I would rather them try, problem solve, observe, take a break and come back to something.
Whoa that was long. i guess i have a lot of thoughts on parenthood for resilient, self confident kids...
Love you, thanks for inspiring me with this conversation :)
i'm so glad you were able to connect your kids to where their food comes from and the importance of it.
I know the biggest gift I have given my boys is growing up in the country, and I was only copying my own childhood. We moved to the ranch house I grew up in when my youngest was 8 months old. I was terrified that my young boys would find trouble like rattlesnakes, because we have them around at times. I have always loved working with cows, having 4-H projects every year I could as a kid. Working with large livestock is dangerous even for adults who know what the risk looks like. Our rural ranching community is very unique because local kids are very handy. I was working long hours in tractors helping put up hay long before I was able to have a driver's license. Us kids were responsible for irrigating all the hay fields with little supervision at 10 years old.
The idea that kids can be responsible for themselves at a young age is not typical American. And despite knowing my own capabilities at that age, it is so very hard to let our kids struggle and get frustrated. My oldest boy is now 20 and serving in the National Guard. Both my husband and I are veterans who saw action in Iraq. It is terrifying as a mom to know what the possible future holds for my boy. Of course I hope he never sees action like I did. Funny story, he goes to school on one side of the mountain and his guard unit is on the other. It was forecast to snow, so I was worried about him traveling. Then he says they didn't reserve rooms for him like usual, so he got his own reservation. I find out at midnight that he was too young to rent a room so he was sleeping in his car. I was angry, couldn't sleep, wrote to the public radio station and checked on him first thing in the morning. He was fine, got a little cold, but perfectly happy. He then drove home in a snow storm, and again was perfectly fine. It is so hard to let them live their own lives, even after trying to make them capable adults. But it is also cool to see how resilient they are, how competent they are at handling themselves. It was such a short time ago that I had 3 babies, but now each of them can cook for themselves and keep the fire going. And countless other complex things.
Likewise, thanks for the great conversation! Parenting is the ultimate training tool. Making lots of mistakes and learning every day. Very much like farming. Living in nature in all seasons creates an awareness of our place in the world. Feeding cows in bitter cold, or fixing waterlines in the summer heat; these actions make people and kids resilient because they know that you can do hard things for awhile. Then you get to rest and recover. It takes hard times and good times to appreciate all our blessings with gratitude. Deep snow in winter makes less irrigation needs in summer.
Ok, enough deep thoughts for the morning. Have a lovely day!
It's funny, I just saw an old colleague for coffee this morning. She told me that her son, an engineer and frisbee player, had a chest condition last year. It involved inserting a rod under his arm and into his chest, and then expanding it slightly every day for weeks. During that time, he had to give up frisbee, but he took up metal forging! He used that experience to write his college admissions essay - about patience, pain, hot metal, and creation. I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something by seeing your post today. Thank you for this.
oh i love that synchronicity so much. thank you for sharing. Wishing your friends son full healing. I’d love to see his essay. It’s such a profound alchemy— to turn something hard to molten and then recrystalize something raw into something useful.
funny, my prayer for my whole life was "May I see clearly" then when it started to happen, i was like. what the ef do i do with this information? Too much all the time. now my prayer is "May i walk bravely in Love, held by all of creation" thank you for seeing me. ✨🙏 ✨
Wow megan...... Where did this come from? Compelling!!! I had to pause and reflect while going through this because it makes you reflect!! I salute you for this. Definitely one that should be printed out and put on the refrigerator door for permanent reference. Everyone give her a standing ovation and share this everywhere
✨🙏 ✨It was an ongoing mediation as I observed eric (my ex partner) learning to forge. We talked a lot of the alchemical and physical process. While it can refine. it can also harden and slay. it's a fascinating one...thank you. I had a kick in the pants to write it late last night and post. Spirit was like- this . NOW.
Ever since I began reading this, I've been having memories and flashbacks of my grandfather long ago tempering metal in his forge - making things - chisels and horseshoes. My grandfather was a blacksmith. His world was all anvils and hammers and fire, then plunging the hot metal deep into water and hearing the hiss and seeing the steam rising. His way of life in that town has long vanished. People had so little back then, but seemed to have so much. They worked their jobs. They seemed important and sure of themselves. They seemed, as you put it, 'tempered by fire'. This is a superb piece of writing.
Wow! i didn't know your grandfather was a blacksmith. thank you for sharing.. the values changed so much in a couple generations. craft, skill, honing and creating—to fast, immediate and low cost from big box companies. SO few value the process or even see the difference between something made by hand vs machined in 2 seconds. I could get into that forever. Thank you for a peak into your lineage and the kindness of your words about the writing.
Interesting, I felt like I was reading a letter you had written to a future self, that you had wrapped in an essay so you could share it with us.
hehe. I feel like i've been writing and rewriting this letter to myself over the last decade. each round reminding me. you'll get through the fires. Haven't forgotten about your reading. I moved yesterday. It was a long hard week... coming back to giggle at the perfect timing of me re-reading and finally responding to your thoughtful comment.
I just pulled Temperance the other day, and I can admit that I usually just tell myself “patience.” I loved this. You’ve expanded my view of the cards, and you’ve given me a new way to view this stage of my life. Thank you ☺️
I really want to get this one on youtube for the readers. every time it's pulled i'm like GUYS! its not just wait! hehhe. Thank you for taking the time to read and even more the consideration to comment. big hug.
Will a cool clarity remain when you face hard things? Sometimes I do okay with this, but I stíll have work to do.
all of us together. no one has it perfect. Each time i think, oh... i think i can ride this part the universe is like and what about this extra layer here? hotter? hotter? and then i cry. hahha. and then i laugh. all in this together.
Lovely. I have witnessed what you write about. This concept has persisted in my thoughts while I raise my boys. How does a parent foster tempering in children while also protecting them? Protection and security are fleeting, but having skills and abilities in the real world provide built in protection. I realized letting kids try and fail in hard tasks builds resilience over time. In the middle of trying to do my best parenting, I realized stepping aside and letting them pursue their passions is the only way to prepare them for "growing up". Realizing my passion wasn't hereditary helped out. My passion is growing my own food, and they have watched the process and participated throughout their young lives. They may never want to kill a chicken again, but they know how.
I really appreciate how so many people, yourself included, write in a way that speaks to me and opens my eyes to new ideas. What a gift. Thank you
Wow. thank you. I love your share so much.
I think of this so much for my kids too. In a world of helicopter parenting.. i tend to step back and allow my kids to learn, with a little guidance and safety boundaries. It's funny, all kids learn to walk at 1-2... they get up, they stumble, they try again, they plop down. and we go "good job, look at you, You got this, try again, there you go... oops, you'll get it" I think it's innate and natural to know how to learn something with persistance. Then we get into fear of all of the possible things..
when my boys learned to climb trees at 2-3 I started them on tiny little trees.. they learned to hold their weight, keep focused, trust their body and even fall (like 1 foot). I told them, if you are not thinking clearly, enraged or reactive, you will not climb a tree. show me that your energy is balanced or I will not allow you to get into a tree because you can absolutely fall and crack your head open. Little by little they upgraded to harder trees. Now they are in 3-4 story trees... They trust their bodies, I trust them. but it was a long road to make sure they knew the skills, had the strength and knew their energy and capacity.
i do think we have a right to protect and guide. but also give them a manageable place to fail. Burn yourself on a little candle flame, no harm, no foul... learn what heat feels like. ... sneak around with fireworks and blow off your hand? no way... I like that they learn cause effect, responsibility for their actions.
Most parents freak out when they see me allow my kids to do a lot. they scream "you'll fall" and actually put them in more danger by terrifying them. It's fascinating to watch. I think the social conditioning really puts people into a controlled and victimized, scared, gonna get in trouble, can't fail kind of mindset. But I would rather them try, problem solve, observe, take a break and come back to something.
Whoa that was long. i guess i have a lot of thoughts on parenthood for resilient, self confident kids...
Love you, thanks for inspiring me with this conversation :)
i'm so glad you were able to connect your kids to where their food comes from and the importance of it.
I know the biggest gift I have given my boys is growing up in the country, and I was only copying my own childhood. We moved to the ranch house I grew up in when my youngest was 8 months old. I was terrified that my young boys would find trouble like rattlesnakes, because we have them around at times. I have always loved working with cows, having 4-H projects every year I could as a kid. Working with large livestock is dangerous even for adults who know what the risk looks like. Our rural ranching community is very unique because local kids are very handy. I was working long hours in tractors helping put up hay long before I was able to have a driver's license. Us kids were responsible for irrigating all the hay fields with little supervision at 10 years old.
The idea that kids can be responsible for themselves at a young age is not typical American. And despite knowing my own capabilities at that age, it is so very hard to let our kids struggle and get frustrated. My oldest boy is now 20 and serving in the National Guard. Both my husband and I are veterans who saw action in Iraq. It is terrifying as a mom to know what the possible future holds for my boy. Of course I hope he never sees action like I did. Funny story, he goes to school on one side of the mountain and his guard unit is on the other. It was forecast to snow, so I was worried about him traveling. Then he says they didn't reserve rooms for him like usual, so he got his own reservation. I find out at midnight that he was too young to rent a room so he was sleeping in his car. I was angry, couldn't sleep, wrote to the public radio station and checked on him first thing in the morning. He was fine, got a little cold, but perfectly happy. He then drove home in a snow storm, and again was perfectly fine. It is so hard to let them live their own lives, even after trying to make them capable adults. But it is also cool to see how resilient they are, how competent they are at handling themselves. It was such a short time ago that I had 3 babies, but now each of them can cook for themselves and keep the fire going. And countless other complex things.
Likewise, thanks for the great conversation! Parenting is the ultimate training tool. Making lots of mistakes and learning every day. Very much like farming. Living in nature in all seasons creates an awareness of our place in the world. Feeding cows in bitter cold, or fixing waterlines in the summer heat; these actions make people and kids resilient because they know that you can do hard things for awhile. Then you get to rest and recover. It takes hard times and good times to appreciate all our blessings with gratitude. Deep snow in winter makes less irrigation needs in summer.
Ok, enough deep thoughts for the morning. Have a lovely day!
Wow. Just wow. Temperance has been teasing me for a while. This is the perfect synchronicity.
That’s amazing. I love that. I heard a message. Share this one again. Hehe
It's funny, I just saw an old colleague for coffee this morning. She told me that her son, an engineer and frisbee player, had a chest condition last year. It involved inserting a rod under his arm and into his chest, and then expanding it slightly every day for weeks. During that time, he had to give up frisbee, but he took up metal forging! He used that experience to write his college admissions essay - about patience, pain, hot metal, and creation. I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something by seeing your post today. Thank you for this.
oh i love that synchronicity so much. thank you for sharing. Wishing your friends son full healing. I’d love to see his essay. It’s such a profound alchemy— to turn something hard to molten and then recrystalize something raw into something useful.
Megan is a seer, her children are seers, she comes from a land of seers.
funny, my prayer for my whole life was "May I see clearly" then when it started to happen, i was like. what the ef do i do with this information? Too much all the time. now my prayer is "May i walk bravely in Love, held by all of creation" thank you for seeing me. ✨🙏 ✨
Wow megan...... Where did this come from? Compelling!!! I had to pause and reflect while going through this because it makes you reflect!! I salute you for this. Definitely one that should be printed out and put on the refrigerator door for permanent reference. Everyone give her a standing ovation and share this everywhere
✨🙏 ✨It was an ongoing mediation as I observed eric (my ex partner) learning to forge. We talked a lot of the alchemical and physical process. While it can refine. it can also harden and slay. it's a fascinating one...thank you. I had a kick in the pants to write it late last night and post. Spirit was like- this . NOW.
thank for sharing the genesis of this. Again i tip my hat